Just when I thought making progress in a story would allow me more free time to take a break from academic work, my plan has backfired. For JOUR 480, literary feature writing with Walt Harrington, I am covering a woman named Loretta Dessen, better known as "The Chex Mix Lady" who hosts events and "barn dances" on her property in Urbana. While I have already written a short profile on Dessen and barn dances for a class (never published), I have chosen to approach her story with greater depth and focus more on her interaction with the college kids she hosts (usually several hundred drunk students, four nights a week).

I have already spent many hours with Dessen following and interacting with her and her friends. I have also spent some of the longest hours of my journalism career shadowing her as she hosted two barn dances simultaneously for Greek houses in which I have many friends. It was difficult to focus on Dessen and hear her comments while my friends were drunkenly hassling me throughout the night.

To get back to the point, I have spent lots of time with my subject and I believe that I have reached a point and level of comfort where I can ask nearly any question. This includes several personal questions about the loneliness of being a widow.

I feel that I have made great progress with my reporting and can now afford to take a little time off, catch up with friends and maybe attend my fraternity's barn dance tonight and then go to a friend's tomorrow.

Or not.

After much thought and resistance of peer pressure, I have decided not to attend either event. While I know I could behave properly at the barn dances, I don't want to risk any association to any misbehaviour (of which there is usually plenty) and have it hinder the progress I have made with my subject. Maybe I'm just being lazy and don't want to deal with finding a cowboy hat or a date, but I feel that I'm making the right choice about handling this conflict of interest. Perhaps I am making the proper ethical decision to remove myself from the scene and remain "the fly on the wall," observing with Dessen and not becoming one of her patrons she interacts with.